This next piece of advice is one that ladies and clients alike must keep in mind when venturing in this world. Not only have I found that clients have been complete time-wasters, but providers themselves have done it to me as well. As I mentioned in my previous blog- when something seems too good to be true, it probably is. As much as I can let things go a lot better now, there is still apart of me that feels a little shot in the foot when I think about the value of my time. As such, I bring you this next piece of advice that is a bit of a sore spot for anyone in the this industry:
Time is money and YOUR time is Valuable.
I think ladies quickly learn that if a client makes lavish promises, they are likely just fantasizing and probably having a good jerk off session at the computer. If a client books you in advance for an extended period of time, I would suggest asking for a deposit. I think it’s only fair for you to prepare and schedule your time around this client. Clients who are respectful to this rule seriously need to be given a gold medal. I didn’t know this rule when I first started and had plenty of emails that gave me all kinds of false promises and of course they fell through when I went out of my way accommodate them. It’s a pretty shitty feeling to have someone disrespect your time and schedule, and trust me,,, this has happened to me A LOT!
Money comes and money Goes.. Get a proper accountant!
This leads me to my next topic… MONEY. Money comes and goes in this business. Our business fluctuates as the markets fluctuate and when times are tough, I totally get it… its stressful. Probably the most important advice I can give a girl starting out is to: GET A GOOD ACCOUNTANT. I have made a number of terrible decisions when it comes to money and as such, got myself in quite a bit of trouble. Part of the reason for this, was that I trusted the wrong people and was advised in the worst of ways that could have landed me in a worse situation had I not sought out proper financial advise. Again, I should have trusted my gut in this situation. I was incredibly naive to believe particular people had my best interest in mind, but that’s a whole other story. The fact of the matter is, that whether we choose to disclose what we do for a living or not, accountants don’t care how you make your money and most professionals don’t care about it, as long as you PAY. At the end of the day the government doesn’t care either. What we do is totally legal and as long as you pay your taxes, they are happy.
You can make a lot of money in this business, so I would recommend anyone to think strongly about what they do with it. I am totally one to talk. I have made loads of money at one time and then blew it all away trying to keep up a lifestyle I didn’t really care for. In the beginning, I had gotten caught up with friends who chose to live a bougie lifestyle, and live beyond most of their means. I had to realize living that kind of lifestyle is completely empty, heartless and a waste of time and money. In the end, you at least want something to show for the hard work you have done and for all the risk you put yourself in on a daily basis. Spending your money on bottle service at a douchey club, expensive dinners with people who could care less about you or vacations in “exclusive” resorts that are completely cut off from any sort of cultural experience/adventure; these are all things *I* spent a lot of money on last year that I regret terribly. If there is any advice about money I can give, it is definitely from my own personal mistakes: Use your money wisely and do what *YOU* want to do with it, but be SMART with it.
The industry can be a bottomless pit of payments
Another tip I can give a provider is that escort sites can be a bottomless pit of overpriced advertising, which give little results. You can keep buying into expensive packages, which end up costing way more than you made back. I honestly have found that plugging away for an entire year on advertising alone and shelling out tons of cash definitely may have gotten my name out there, but in terms of actually bringing in the bacon, I think I probably flushed a lot of bacon down the toilet. Ask other provider friends as to what has been effective. I could probably give you a list of effective/not-effective advertising avenues, but in fear of getting virtually slaughtered and for my own safety, I will refrain from mentioning any names. Effective advertising does not necessarily have to be expensive. In fact, a lot of it is FREE.
In addition to advertising, photographs are always a good investment, although I do think that they can be much more economically done. I have no regrets about the money I have spent on the photographs I have, I definitely paid for what I got, but in some sense I feel photography can sometimes be a cash grab as well. I have worked with a number of photographers by now and not all were worth the money I spent. There are plenty of photographers out there who would be more than happy to take photos for free or might even pay you to practice, and I think it is good to explore a variety of styles. Even the crappiest quality of photos taken with your cell phone are incredibly useful and profitable.
Therapy is your friend
I will be first to admit this: Therapy saved me. Taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally is just as important, if not more important than taking care of oneself just physically. As soon as I started keeping it real with the people around me and the professionals in my life about what I do, I finally could deal with all the crap that was going on in my life and getting over the stigma of the industry. Interestingly enough these therapists made me feel and understand the importance of taking care of myself and keeping good people in my life, because things got so out of wack the first year I was in the industry. It was hard to make sense of everything with no one to talk to and without the proper relationships in my life. In my personal experience, having friendships that entirely revolved around the sex industry were incredibly detrimental to my well-being and I needed to have some sort of order and balance in my life to feel like I mattered and that I was worthy of healthy relationships where people didn’t just want to be with me for sexual purposes. While I firmly believe that having friends within the industry is great to talk shop and feel support, I would say it is equally important to have friends outside the industry. I think this industry is incredibly isolating and if your friendships all revolve around the industry, it can be easy to lose sight of the real world, which can then lead to further isolation and at the end of the day we need to have some balance in life to outweigh the craziness that goes on. Having the professionals who respected the industry helped me regain the confidence to do this job and reconfirmed for me that I actually had healthy ethics and morals, despite being in an industry that many see as immoral.
These are just a few major points I would give as advice to new providers. I am sure there is much more that could be added to this list. Again, I give this advice entirely based on my own personal mistakes, which I hope will help those who might be new or grappling with similar issues. I will likely add to this blog at a future date after I make a bunch of other terrible mistakes. Until then, I hope some of what I say is useful to someone out there.
Until next time…..