This next blog is definitely not spoken about very often and might even be a topic that many girls would avoid. However, for those of you may already follow me on Twitter and read this blog, you may already know that I am not one to really hold back on my opinions. For those clients who want to believe that all of us ladies are fancy free, single and don’t care about our mental well-being at all, I would recommend to stop reading now. This blog is probably way too honest for you to handle and I would never want to jeopardize your sexy fantasies with all those wonderful ladies out there. This article is for realistic readers as both providers and clients alike.
As someone who has been in the industry just a couple years, I can honestly say that it is a difficult world to be on your own. Unfortunately many of us providers are quite isolated from one another and face further complications trying to sustain personal/private relationships in our free time. This job can obviously be incredibly taxing on us emotionally, mentally and physically and without proper stable relationships it can be extremely daunting. It’s an industry that can definitely do your head in if you don’t have anyone who respects your personal boundaries and time. Having the right friendships and partners in our lives can help us sustain ourselves in this industry even longer or at least long enough that we can get out of it feeling positive about our experience. I guess I have learned from the good, bad and the ugly in my own experience, but I hope I can offer some insight to what many providers may have experienced or may need to keep in mind in their own lives so they can make healthy and happy choices for themselves.
One of the most important things I could learn from being in this industry is that it’s incredibly important to know your personal boundaries with both your clients and your personal relationships. I will go more into detail about boundaries with clients in another blog, but I think it’s important to discuss in this context, because I think that providers may need to save certain physical and emotional actions for their own private lives. Whatever these actions may be, some providers may feel better saving certain things for their partners. There are so many unspoken rules and variables between client and provider relations that vary depending on the individuals involved. It is truly difficult to know when to draw the line in the sand, but again I will be discussing this in a later blog.
Due to the nature of this business being sexual and incredibly personal, many women in this industry can often become confused about their own physical and emotional boundaries in their private lives. First and foremost, I can say that entering into this business changed my perspective and my boundaries with people BIG TIME. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I was in the swing lifestyle before, which I can honestly say really started to feel like sexual slavery, as my partner and other partners in the lifestyle made me feel I should feel obligated to give particular sexual experiences, whether I was feeling up to it or not. Suddenly, my sex life outside the business became incredibly important to the point where previous partners who thought they had endless access to sex with both myself and my industry friends whenever they pleased became questioned. I had never felt more threatened by both my previous partners and their spouses to get on board with whatever or with whomever they pleased. After giving so much of yourself to other people, nothing is worse than having your personal relationships guilt and threaten you into situations despite the fact you may have had a rough day or may not feel like doing something crazy and kinky.
It is important for some of us to feel grounded in our personal relationships and simply want to come home to something just boring normal vanilla, especially after a long day of spanking, slapping and sucking. Or maybe we had a long therapy session with someone who has been severely traumatized. Or maybe we had to be ON all day long, that it would be nice to just kick back, watch some TV, smoke a joint and have a laugh. Whatever kind of provider we are, don’t we need balance in our lives?
I am not going to say that every day I have some hectic, intense experience. And I am not going to say that I don’t enjoy these experiences, but nothing is worse than having the people around you in your personal life making you feel guilty or bad about what you do for a living. Especially when it’s something you feel passionate about. There is truly nothing worse than having partners disrespect what you do to the point where you feel so guilty, that you give most of your money or treat them to things whether they be sexual or nonsexual out of feelings of guilt and obligation, because you worked hard all day. At the end of it all, there is nothing left for yourself.
The importance of having time for yourself and the personal relationships you have as a provider are so crucial to feeling supportive in this industry. For myself personally, it has been a serious struggle and maybe that is why I decided to speak out about it today. I hope that other girls will take my advice, as I know how difficult it can be to balance yourself in a world that doesn’t necessarily have the full support of not just mainstream society, but those within the system. There really are no rules in the escort world. We make our own and struggle between understanding what is right or wrong for ourselves. I hope many know how to create their own social world that will fulfill them emotionally so that they can feel the support they need to keep going in this business. It is a wonderful world that we all deep down love, but if we don’t have the support to take care of ourselves first, it’s easy to get lost in it all.